Sunday, December 30, 2007

Things that are

I see
things that are
things that aren't.

I know
things that are
things that aren't.

You see
things that are
things that are.

You know
things that are
things that are.

You don't see
things that are
things I see.

You don't know
things that are
things I know.

I don't see
things that aren't
things you see.

I don't know
things that aren't
things you know.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Not quite sure what to title it.

A poem

To the man who has my heart,
I’d like it returned undamaged,
Unbroken, unscarred, un-yours.
You have been blessed with two
And I sit here barely alive with none.
I don’t mind that you have hers
For she has yours and all is well.
But now I think that all is not
For you have mine and she yours.

Moments upon moments I ponder
How would I be if, all those years ago,
Our meeting never occurred.
Would I be different? Most likely.
Would you be someone else? I hope so.
Though I do believe that in this lifetime
You and I have had good days.
If opposites could ever be so equal
The good in quantity and the bad in quality.

We can’t help who we love.
I, you. You, her.
I am the queen of redundance.
To fall for a friend as he falls for another
To fall for a friend as he falls for another
To fall for a friend as he falls for another
To fall for a friend as he falls for another
This cycle will end once I have what is mine
And you can go on to your heart’s master.

"I don’t think she loves me"
"She must be playing games"
This does not concern me.
In fact, nothing does.
For I am no one and I have nothing
You are everything and I am nothing.
She is everything and I am nothing.
You have my one thing to make me a something
Give me my one thing so I can be someone’s everything.

Thursday, June 07, 2007

A Poem

There were days when nothing turned out right.
Even though the sun was bright,
I was out of sight.

There were days when I was just a mess.
I longed for love and happiness,
but all I found was stress.

Looking back, I know those days have come and gone.
There'll be a brand new song,
To help me move along.

Better things are bound to come my way.
I wished for better days
and now they're here to stay.

What once was broken, now is healed.
No brick wall, no iron shield
just a letter, signed and sealed.

~Regine Riviere 6/7/07

Friday, May 18, 2007


Carolyn was sitting in her room halfway to tears. A part of her wished she never blew up at Drew and another part of her wished he would come into her room and make her dream come true. From the moment they met, she knew that she wanted to be with him, but she never had the courage to tell him. Their friendship was very important to her and she feared that she may have ruined it. Instead of dwelling on the conversation she just had, she decided to occupy her time with loud music and homework. She may have lived just down the hall from Drew but music brought her to another world, and right now, that is where she wanted to be.

Drew was still in his room, pacing back and forth, wondering what Carolyn meant. No matter which angle he looked at the situation, he always came to the same conclusion.

"She likes me?", he asked out loud.

He sat down and thought about their friendship. With this new revelation, every smile, look and hug that she ever gave him seemed different. He couldn't believe that he never noticed it before. He knew that he had to talk to her, but he had no idea what he should say. He cared for her very much; they were best friends, but he never thought of her that way. He hoped he was just jumping to conclusions.

Drew left his room and walked over to Carolyn's. Even though she lived a few doors down from him, so many thoughts managed to go through his mind. What was he going to say once she opened her door? How would she react? Was she still angry with him?

Carolyn was sitting at her desk with her headphones on and just after her favorite song ended she heard a soft knock at the door. She took a bite of her Snicker's bar, walked over to the door and looked through the peephole. Drew was standing on the other side of the door and she wasn't sure that she wanted to see him, not because she was angry with him, but because she was afraid how she would act around him. He knocked on the door again and said, "Carolyn, are you there? I need to talk to you." Carolyn was tempted to open the door, but she knew that if she did, she would have to tell him the truth and she wasn't sure she was ready for that. She tiptoed back to her desk and waited until she saw his shadow under the door move away.

The next day, Drew was getting out of class and as he was walking down the hallway, he saw Carolyn walking out of a classroom. He called out her name and she turned to him, but instead of walk towards him, she walked in the other direction. He began to follow her down the hallway and around the corner, but she must have sprinted once she got around the corner because he saw no sign of her, so he decided to go back to her room and wait for her there.

Carolyn got to her residence hall and noticed Drew standing by her door. He was facing the other direction so she snuck into the common room and hoped that if she stayed there long enough, he would leave and go to his own room. About a half an hour passed and she popped her head out in the doorway to see if Drew was still standing by her door. There was no one in the hallway so she walked to her room. She noticed a note on her door in Drew's handwriting that said, "C, we need to talk, come to my room as soon as you get this." Carolyn took the note and threw it away. She felt ridiculous for trying to avoid him all day. He was her best friend, she realized that she should be able to tell him anything.

Drew was sitting at his desk fiddling through some papers wondering why Carolyn ran away from him. She had never done that before and he was afraid that she would never speak to him again. He had other friends but none of them were as special to him as she was. They had done practically everything together, and she was always there for him. He didn't know what he would do without her.

He finally got his desk cleared off when there was a knock at his door. He opened it, but there was no one there. He looked down the hall and saw two of his friends running and laughing. He closed the door and lied down on his bed. There was another knock on the door. Drew got up and said, "Very funny, guys." He walked over to the door and there was another knock.

"Oh brother", he said to himself. He opened the door. "What do you want?"
"Oh, I'm sorry. I'll come back later", Carolyn said.
"No, no, come in. I thought you were some one else."
"I got your note. You wanted to talk?"
"Yeah, I did. Is everything alright between us?"
"Sure, why wouldn't it be?" Her heart began to beat faster in her chest.
"Well I saw you earlier today and you ran away from me. I thought you were angry with me, you know, for what we talked about the other day."
"I'm not angry with you. I'm just... I don't know; it's hard to say." She had no idea what to say to him. The only thought that was running through her head was I Love You, and that was the last thing that she wanted to tell him.
"Is that all you wanted to ask me? I have a huge paper to write so-"
"Carolyn", Drew interrupted. "What did you mean when you said that I should look right in front of me?" He knew the answer, but he wanted to hear it from her. "Were you speaking figuratively or literally?"
"I don't know what you mean", she answered with her head down, staring at the floor.
"The other day you said that I needed to stop acting stupid, open my eyes and see what was right in front of me."
"I was just trying to say that you are a great guy, a really great guy, and if you would just wise up, and stop dwelling on your ex-girlfriend and what she did to you, practically every girl in this school would probably see how amazing you are and would want to be with you. But you want to go crazy and get revenge or whatever you call it and become a jerk."
"You are angry with me", he said while stepping closer to her.
"I'm not", she quickly replied, stepping backwards.
"Then why were you avoiding me today, and why are you backing away from me now?"
"I told you, I'm not angry with you. I could never be. You're my best friend, and I-"
Drew went closer to Carolyn, looked her in her eyes and kissed her. Carolyn was speechless. Somehow she found herself trapped in between the door and the love of her life. He was still gazing into her eyes, and as much as she wanted him to kiss her again, she needed to move away and catch her breath.
"What was that for?"
"I care about you, Carolyn. You should have seen me earlier. I was a mess. I was afraid that you would never speak to me again. I need you in my life."
Carolyn didn't know what to say, all she could do was stand there and listen.
"I remembered what you said to me and I realized how you felt."
"You sound very sure of yourself."
"Come on, you know I don't mean to sound that way. It's just that...I don't know, I guess I was hoping that you felt that way about me. Looks like I'm wrong."
Carolyn went in close to him and said, "No, you're not wrong."
"So, you do like me?"
"No, I don't like you. Drew, I love you."
He looked at her and smiled. "Really?"
She shook her head, "Yes" and looked down to the floor.
He put his hand under her chin, lifted her head and kissed her again.

Thursday, February 08, 2007


Claire and I arrived back at the house and we set everything down on the table. Claire turned to me and said,
"So let me get this straight. You saw the former love of your life after I don't know how many years and you invited him to your mother's birthday party."
"I have no idea. It just came out of my mouth. I had no idea what I was saying until after I said it."
"Well you are going to have to do something about that."
"What do you mean? I can't uninvite him. I don't even have his number. I don't think he 's coming anyway. I'm sure he has other things to take care of, like his pregnant wife."
"Are you jealous?"
"Of course not. Why should I be?"
"He was the love of your life."
"Yeah, he was, meaning he no longer is. Plus, I'm engaged to Josh and we're happy together."
"I never said you weren't."
"So what are you saying?"
"I just think that you might still have feelings for him, that's all. I mean, it's ok if you do. You just have to let Josh know."
"Claire, don't be ridiculous. I don't have feelings for Brian anymore, and even if I did, I don't think I'd need to ruin things by telling Josh. I don't want to talk about this anymore, what's done is done."

Wednesday, January 24, 2007


We decided to have the party in the Pennsylvania house, so we drove there in the morning so that we could set up and make sure that everything was ready in time. We arrived in Easton about an hour later and it took us about another ten minutes to get to the empty house. My fiance and I just purchased it and we decided to move in after we got married. The house was in a quaint little town where every house looks the same.
Josh and I got all of the supplies out of the car and brought them inside. As I was putting some things in the fridge, Josh came up behind me and kissed me on my neck. "Can you believe it" he asked.
"Believe what?"
"This is going to be our home soon."
"I know, who would have thought-"
"And we're getting married before then. This is so exciting."
"Everything is going to be perfect."
"Yes it will", he said. Then he pulled my face towards his and kissed me. "Come on, let's keep setting up."
Josh went upstairs for a little while and I started putting up the decorations when my sister, Claire, called. She wanted me to meet her at the nearby super market to pick up some more things for the party.
When I got there, I could see Claire standing outside of the front entrance. We went inside and looked around for the party section.
"I want mom's party to be perfect. It isn't everyday that you turn 60."
"I hope she likes it, though. You know how she gets. Nag nag nag about every little detail."
"Oh come on, Annabelle. It's her birthday."
"I know that, but sometimes I wonder why I even bother with these things. She never just sits back and lets things happen. She always has to nitpick at everything, like we can never do anything right."
"Hey, I'm going to go pick up the cake, how about you stay here and look for some stuff that we might be missing."
Claire went over to the bakery section and I went to the gift card aisle considering I hadn't gotten mom a card yet. I looked through a bunch and I found a couple that I thought were nice. I couldn't decide which one I liked best, so I took both and waited for Claire to come back to get her opinion. I was about to go to the party section when I saw someone drop something. His hands were full, so I rushed over to help him. I picked up his packet of razors and put it back in his basket.
"There you go", I said as I turned back around to walk away.
"Thanks, Annabelle."
I stopped right then and turned back around.
"How did you know..." Before I could finish my question, I knew exactly how he knew my name.
There he was, standing in front of me like a king among his subjects. He looked much older than the last time I saw him, but he was just as handsome as before. Short, dark-brown hair, beautiful blue eyes and broad shoulders. The perfect description of the former love-of-my-life.
"Hi Brian", I said, staring directly into his eyes. He placed his baskets on the floor and came closer to give me a hug. His embrace brought back so many memories. A kiss, a caress, a ring, a night, our whole relationship on fast forward in my mind.
"How are you" he asked, with me still in his arms.
"I... I'm great, just great. You?" I responded trying to regain consciousness.
"Same here. Wow, it's really good seeing you. It's been so long. Tell me, what have you been doing with your life?"
He seemed sincerely interested so I tried not to leave any details out.
"Well, you know, I have that bookstore I always wanted. My fiance and I just-"
"You're engaged?"
"Yeah", showing him my left hand. "We just bought a house nearby.
"I guess we'll be seeing more of each other then. My wife and I moved here a couple of years ago after we got married. Beautiful neighborhood to raise kids in."
"You have children?"
"Not yet, but we have one on the way." Just as he said that, a woman appeared behind him and said, "Brian, do you have everything? I think we should go before the lines get too long."
Brian turned to greet his wife. She was blond, a bit shorter than I am and extremely pregnant. Her name was Kristin and she was due in a couple of weeks. Brian's attention shifted onto his wife so I thought it would be the best time for me to leave.
"I better go help my sister with the cake. It was g-"
"Cake?" Kristin interrupted.
"Yeah, it's my mom's 60th today and we're having a little get together. You're welcome to come if you'd like." I had no idea why I said that, but I couldn't take it back, so I gave them the address and went to find Claire.