Every night, before she fell asleep, _ would imagine herself lying in bed hoping for her cell phone to ring. Not only did she hope for her cell phone to ring, but she also hoped that it would be a certain _ on the other end. The phone would ring and she would answer with a nonchalant "hello". The male voice on the other end would ask, "Is this _?" "Yes", she would answer and knowing damn well who it was would ask, "Who's speaking?"
"It's _", he would answer, wondering if she had truly forgotten his voice. "How are you doing? It's been a long time, hasn't it?" he asked hoping he didn't sound like the heart-breaker he knew he was. "Yeah, it sure has been. I'm doing well, very well", she would brag, "and you?"
"I'm miserable."
"Oh?"
"I miss you terribly."
"I don't know what to say."
"Tell me you miss me too."
"I'm sorry, I don't."
"I know you do. You're the woman that I love."
"I'm sorry, I'm not the woman for you."
"Yes, you are!"
"I have to go."
Then she would hang up, roll over and kiss her sleeping husband and fall asleep.
Whenever her fantasies ended, _ would close her eyes and hope that it would come true. Too bad it never did, until tonight. The phone rang and she answered with a nonchalant "hello". The male voice on the other end asked, "Is this _?" "Yes", she answered and knowing damn well who it was asked, "Who's speaking?"
"It's _", he answered, wondering if she had truly forgotten his voice. "How are you doing? It's been a long time, hasn't it?" he asked hoping he didn't sound like the heart-breaker he knew he was. "Yeah, it sure has been. I'm doing well, very well", she lied, "and you?"
"I'm ecstatic!"
"Oh?"
"I'm getting married."
"I don't know what to say."
"Tell me you're happy for me."
"I'm so happy for you."
"I knew you would be. She's the woman that I love."
"She must really be the woman for you."
"Yes. She is."
"I have to go."
Then she hung up, rolled over, hugged her pillow and cried herself to sleep.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Friday, April 03, 2009
Thank God It's Friday
Today could have been the worst day ever. Work was crazy as hell. Those babies would not stop crying. I'm nearing the end of the dreaded curse which means I get my scheduled headaches.
So...
screaming babies+ curse+ headache= hell on earth!
It was raining this morning which I didn't mind all that much and I'm normally the first one to work and after me comes two coworkers and their kids. Other kids start coming in and already there is mayhem.
One kid poops all over the place while mom drops off and then poops again after mom leaves. I have to call mom to come back because it's diarrhea and they can't be here with that. My favorite kid falls and bites his lip resulting in a huge gash and there is drama.
Then my boss decides to be all angry around me, and I just don't want to hear it. I don't like her, I never liked her and I never will like her.
So anyway, I had to deal with a crazy boss and crazy kids and I was just tired of it.
Now I am hanging out with my friend and we're having drinks and talking relationship talk. I need a lot of advice in that area.
So...
screaming babies+ curse+ headache= hell on earth!
It was raining this morning which I didn't mind all that much and I'm normally the first one to work and after me comes two coworkers and their kids. Other kids start coming in and already there is mayhem.
One kid poops all over the place while mom drops off and then poops again after mom leaves. I have to call mom to come back because it's diarrhea and they can't be here with that. My favorite kid falls and bites his lip resulting in a huge gash and there is drama.
Then my boss decides to be all angry around me, and I just don't want to hear it. I don't like her, I never liked her and I never will like her.
So anyway, I had to deal with a crazy boss and crazy kids and I was just tired of it.
Now I am hanging out with my friend and we're having drinks and talking relationship talk. I need a lot of advice in that area.
Thursday, April 02, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Some new (and old) stuff
This is my version of the Maroon 5 Songs about Jane album cover.
These are two Regency Era inspired pieces. I have no titles for them, but I love looking at them.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Lillian and Geoffrey (incomplete)
Geoffrey Bishop- Mid-late 20's, single
Lillian Evans- Early 20's, single
At a social gathering in London (1800's). Lillian is standing against a wall observing the other guests dancing, conversing, etc. She notices Geoffrey on the other side of the room and catches his gaze. He smiles and nods as if to suggest a bow. She returns the smile and nod as if to suggest a curtsy. Geoffrey cuts through the crowd in Lillian's direction.
G: Good evening, Miss Evans (He bows)
L: Good evening, Mr. Bishop ( she curtsy's)
G:You look well.
L: I am, as do you.
G: Thank you; I trust your family is well.
L: Yes, they are, thank you, and yours?
G: Very well, indeed. Have you had the pleasure of dancing with any of these fine gentlemen this evening?
L: I'm afraid I'm not one for dancing. Besides, it seems my sister is the Belle of the Ball. She hasn't left the dance floor yet and I believe she is engaged in at least three more dances.
G: Is that so? Well I can't imagine why you wouldn't want to dance, every musical selection so far has been agreeable.
L: I'm sure they have.
G: Mm (nods)
L: Does that mean you've had the opportunity with one of these ladies?
G: As a matter of fact, I have, with a few, actually. Now, what exactly is keeping you from dancing?
L: (Chuckles to herself) Earlier today, my brothers and I engaged ourselves in a little sport.
G: I'm intrigued. Pray, tell me more.
L: My brothers, Edmond and Lucas, have decided to teach me everything they know about cricket. My sister, Emily will have nothing to do with it, so I'm afraid my brothers have intensified their teachings.
G: You must be quite exhausted, then.
L: I am a little, (she hold up her left hand and moves her hand about as if to stretch her wrist) though I'm afraid my wrist is in need of mending.
G: (Takes her hand and begins to massage her wrist) How is that? Does that feel better?
L: (Stunned) That feels just fine, thank you. (She begins to pull her arm away but succumbs to the touch of his hands on her wrist)
G: Good. (He kisses her wrist and returns her hand)
L: Thank you. (taking her hand back and rubbing her wrist) You are too bold Mr. Bishop.
G: I believe your beauty has inspired such boldness in me.
L: (blushing and hardly able to speak) You are kind as well as bold. I do not deserve such a compliment.
G: I believe you do.
(They smile at each other)
Emily appears with her dance partner, Alec
E: Mr. Bishop (excitedly) how long has it been since you had the pleasure of being in my company?
G: Too long, my dear Miss Evans (kisses her hand) Have you been enjoying yourself this evening?
E: Yes, I have, very much. And yourself?
G: I find the festivities very enjoyable, but there is only one problem. I can't seem to get your sister to dance with me.
(Everyone looks at Lillian)
L: (begins to speak but is interrupted)
E: Oh please, dear sister. Do come and dance. I shall pester you all evening if you do not.
L: Alright then.
G: Lovely, shall we? (holds out his arm for Lillian to grasp)
They walk further into the dance hall filled with other couples and spectators. They join the line and dance.
(while dancing)
E: My sister seems to be enjoying herself. Don't you think so?
A: Yes, she seems to be having a lovely time.
E: I'm glad.
(while dancing)
G: I suppose your brothers haven't worked you too hard, then.
L: Why do you say that?
G: Your dancing-
L:What about it?
G:It's absolutely perfect. You dance beautifully.
L: Why thank you. (blushing) I must say, you dance quite nicely yourself.
G: (smiles) A compliment. I believe that is the first one in the many years we've known each other.
L: Perhaps you should do more things worth complimenting.
To Be Continued
Lillian Evans- Early 20's, single
At a social gathering in London (1800's). Lillian is standing against a wall observing the other guests dancing, conversing, etc. She notices Geoffrey on the other side of the room and catches his gaze. He smiles and nods as if to suggest a bow. She returns the smile and nod as if to suggest a curtsy. Geoffrey cuts through the crowd in Lillian's direction.
G: Good evening, Miss Evans (He bows)
L: Good evening, Mr. Bishop ( she curtsy's)
G:You look well.
L: I am, as do you.
G: Thank you; I trust your family is well.
L: Yes, they are, thank you, and yours?
G: Very well, indeed. Have you had the pleasure of dancing with any of these fine gentlemen this evening?
L: I'm afraid I'm not one for dancing. Besides, it seems my sister is the Belle of the Ball. She hasn't left the dance floor yet and I believe she is engaged in at least three more dances.
G: Is that so? Well I can't imagine why you wouldn't want to dance, every musical selection so far has been agreeable.
L: I'm sure they have.
G: Mm (nods)
L: Does that mean you've had the opportunity with one of these ladies?
G: As a matter of fact, I have, with a few, actually. Now, what exactly is keeping you from dancing?
L: (Chuckles to herself) Earlier today, my brothers and I engaged ourselves in a little sport.
G: I'm intrigued. Pray, tell me more.
L: My brothers, Edmond and Lucas, have decided to teach me everything they know about cricket. My sister, Emily will have nothing to do with it, so I'm afraid my brothers have intensified their teachings.
G: You must be quite exhausted, then.
L: I am a little, (she hold up her left hand and moves her hand about as if to stretch her wrist) though I'm afraid my wrist is in need of mending.
G: (Takes her hand and begins to massage her wrist) How is that? Does that feel better?
L: (Stunned) That feels just fine, thank you. (She begins to pull her arm away but succumbs to the touch of his hands on her wrist)
G: Good. (He kisses her wrist and returns her hand)
L: Thank you. (taking her hand back and rubbing her wrist) You are too bold Mr. Bishop.
G: I believe your beauty has inspired such boldness in me.
L: (blushing and hardly able to speak) You are kind as well as bold. I do not deserve such a compliment.
G: I believe you do.
(They smile at each other)
Emily appears with her dance partner, Alec
E: Mr. Bishop (excitedly) how long has it been since you had the pleasure of being in my company?
G: Too long, my dear Miss Evans (kisses her hand) Have you been enjoying yourself this evening?
E: Yes, I have, very much. And yourself?
G: I find the festivities very enjoyable, but there is only one problem. I can't seem to get your sister to dance with me.
(Everyone looks at Lillian)
L: (begins to speak but is interrupted)
E: Oh please, dear sister. Do come and dance. I shall pester you all evening if you do not.
L: Alright then.
G: Lovely, shall we? (holds out his arm for Lillian to grasp)
They walk further into the dance hall filled with other couples and spectators. They join the line and dance.
(while dancing)
E: My sister seems to be enjoying herself. Don't you think so?
A: Yes, she seems to be having a lovely time.
E: I'm glad.
(while dancing)
G: I suppose your brothers haven't worked you too hard, then.
L: Why do you say that?
G: Your dancing-
L:What about it?
G:It's absolutely perfect. You dance beautifully.
L: Why thank you. (blushing) I must say, you dance quite nicely yourself.
G: (smiles) A compliment. I believe that is the first one in the many years we've known each other.
L: Perhaps you should do more things worth complimenting.
To Be Continued
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Things that are
I see
things that are
things that aren't.
I know
things that are
things that aren't.
You see
things that are
things that are.
You know
things that are
things that are.
You don't see
things that are
things I see.
You don't know
things that are
things I know.
I don't see
things that aren't
things you see.
I don't know
things that aren't
things you know.
things that are
things that aren't.
I know
things that are
things that aren't.
You see
things that are
things that are.
You know
things that are
things that are.
You don't see
things that are
things I see.
You don't know
things that are
things I know.
I don't see
things that aren't
things you see.
I don't know
things that aren't
things you know.
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Not quite sure what to title it.
A poem
To the man who has my heart,
I’d like it returned undamaged,
Unbroken, unscarred, un-yours.
You have been blessed with two
And I sit here barely alive with none.
I don’t mind that you have hers
For she has yours and all is well.
But now I think that all is not
For you have mine and she yours.
Moments upon moments I ponder
How would I be if, all those years ago,
Our meeting never occurred.
Would I be different? Most likely.
Would you be someone else? I hope so.
Though I do believe that in this lifetime
You and I have had good days.
If opposites could ever be so equal
The good in quantity and the bad in quality.
We can’t help who we love.
I, you. You, her.
I am the queen of redundance.
To fall for a friend as he falls for another
To fall for a friend as he falls for another
To fall for a friend as he falls for another
To fall for a friend as he falls for another
This cycle will end once I have what is mine
And you can go on to your heart’s master.
"I don’t think she loves me"
"She must be playing games"
This does not concern me.
In fact, nothing does.
For I am no one and I have nothing
You are everything and I am nothing.
She is everything and I am nothing.
You have my one thing to make me a something
Give me my one thing so I can be someone’s everything.
To the man who has my heart,
I’d like it returned undamaged,
Unbroken, unscarred, un-yours.
You have been blessed with two
And I sit here barely alive with none.
I don’t mind that you have hers
For she has yours and all is well.
But now I think that all is not
For you have mine and she yours.
Moments upon moments I ponder
How would I be if, all those years ago,
Our meeting never occurred.
Would I be different? Most likely.
Would you be someone else? I hope so.
Though I do believe that in this lifetime
You and I have had good days.
If opposites could ever be so equal
The good in quantity and the bad in quality.
We can’t help who we love.
I, you. You, her.
I am the queen of redundance.
To fall for a friend as he falls for another
To fall for a friend as he falls for another
To fall for a friend as he falls for another
To fall for a friend as he falls for another
This cycle will end once I have what is mine
And you can go on to your heart’s master.
"I don’t think she loves me"
"She must be playing games"
This does not concern me.
In fact, nothing does.
For I am no one and I have nothing
You are everything and I am nothing.
She is everything and I am nothing.
You have my one thing to make me a something
Give me my one thing so I can be someone’s everything.
Thursday, June 07, 2007
A Poem
There were days when nothing turned out right.
Even though the sun was bright,
I was out of sight.
There were days when I was just a mess.
I longed for love and happiness,
but all I found was stress.
Looking back, I know those days have come and gone.
There'll be a brand new song,
To help me move along.
Better things are bound to come my way.
I wished for better days
and now they're here to stay.
What once was broken, now is healed.
No brick wall, no iron shield
just a letter, signed and sealed.
~Regine Riviere 6/7/07
Even though the sun was bright,
I was out of sight.
There were days when I was just a mess.
I longed for love and happiness,
but all I found was stress.
Looking back, I know those days have come and gone.
There'll be a brand new song,
To help me move along.
Better things are bound to come my way.
I wished for better days
and now they're here to stay.
What once was broken, now is healed.
No brick wall, no iron shield
just a letter, signed and sealed.
~Regine Riviere 6/7/07
Friday, May 18, 2007
Confession
Carolyn was sitting in her room halfway to tears. A part of her wished she never blew up at Drew and another part of her wished he would come into her room and make her dream come true. From the moment they met, she knew that she wanted to be with him, but she never had the courage to tell him. Their friendship was very important to her and she feared that she may have ruined it. Instead of dwelling on the conversation she just had, she decided to occupy her time with loud music and homework. She may have lived just down the hall from Drew but music brought her to another world, and right now, that is where she wanted to be.
Drew was still in his room, pacing back and forth, wondering what Carolyn meant. No matter which angle he looked at the situation, he always came to the same conclusion.
"She likes me?", he asked out loud.
He sat down and thought about their friendship. With this new revelation, every smile, look and hug that she ever gave him seemed different. He couldn't believe that he never noticed it before. He knew that he had to talk to her, but he had no idea what he should say. He cared for her very much; they were best friends, but he never thought of her that way. He hoped he was just jumping to conclusions.
Drew left his room and walked over to Carolyn's. Even though she lived a few doors down from him, so many thoughts managed to go through his mind. What was he going to say once she opened her door? How would she react? Was she still angry with him?
Carolyn was sitting at her desk with her headphones on and just after her favorite song ended she heard a soft knock at the door. She took a bite of her Snicker's bar, walked over to the door and looked through the peephole. Drew was standing on the other side of the door and she wasn't sure that she wanted to see him, not because she was angry with him, but because she was afraid how she would act around him. He knocked on the door again and said, "Carolyn, are you there? I need to talk to you." Carolyn was tempted to open the door, but she knew that if she did, she would have to tell him the truth and she wasn't sure she was ready for that. She tiptoed back to her desk and waited until she saw his shadow under the door move away.
The next day, Drew was getting out of class and as he was walking down the hallway, he saw Carolyn walking out of a classroom. He called out her name and she turned to him, but instead of walk towards him, she walked in the other direction. He began to follow her down the hallway and around the corner, but she must have sprinted once she got around the corner because he saw no sign of her, so he decided to go back to her room and wait for her there.
Carolyn got to her residence hall and noticed Drew standing by her door. He was facing the other direction so she snuck into the common room and hoped that if she stayed there long enough, he would leave and go to his own room. About a half an hour passed and she popped her head out in the doorway to see if Drew was still standing by her door. There was no one in the hallway so she walked to her room. She noticed a note on her door in Drew's handwriting that said, "C, we need to talk, come to my room as soon as you get this." Carolyn took the note and threw it away. She felt ridiculous for trying to avoid him all day. He was her best friend, she realized that she should be able to tell him anything.
Drew was sitting at his desk fiddling through some papers wondering why Carolyn ran away from him. She had never done that before and he was afraid that she would never speak to him again. He had other friends but none of them were as special to him as she was. They had done practically everything together, and she was always there for him. He didn't know what he would do without her.
He finally got his desk cleared off when there was a knock at his door. He opened it, but there was no one there. He looked down the hall and saw two of his friends running and laughing. He closed the door and lied down on his bed. There was another knock on the door. Drew got up and said, "Very funny, guys." He walked over to the door and there was another knock.
"Oh brother", he said to himself. He opened the door. "What do you want?"
"Oh, I'm sorry. I'll come back later", Carolyn said.
"No, no, come in. I thought you were some one else."
"I got your note. You wanted to talk?"
"Yeah, I did. Is everything alright between us?"
"Sure, why wouldn't it be?" Her heart began to beat faster in her chest.
"Well I saw you earlier today and you ran away from me. I thought you were angry with me, you know, for what we talked about the other day."
"I'm not angry with you. I'm just... I don't know; it's hard to say." She had no idea what to say to him. The only thought that was running through her head was I Love You, and that was the last thing that she wanted to tell him.
"Is that all you wanted to ask me? I have a huge paper to write so-"
"Carolyn", Drew interrupted. "What did you mean when you said that I should look right in front of me?" He knew the answer, but he wanted to hear it from her. "Were you speaking figuratively or literally?"
"I don't know what you mean", she answered with her head down, staring at the floor.
"The other day you said that I needed to stop acting stupid, open my eyes and see what was right in front of me."
"I was just trying to say that you are a great guy, a really great guy, and if you would just wise up, and stop dwelling on your ex-girlfriend and what she did to you, practically every girl in this school would probably see how amazing you are and would want to be with you. But you want to go crazy and get revenge or whatever you call it and become a jerk."
"You are angry with me", he said while stepping closer to her.
"I'm not", she quickly replied, stepping backwards.
"Then why were you avoiding me today, and why are you backing away from me now?"
"I told you, I'm not angry with you. I could never be. You're my best friend, and I-"
Drew went closer to Carolyn, looked her in her eyes and kissed her. Carolyn was speechless. Somehow she found herself trapped in between the door and the love of her life. He was still gazing into her eyes, and as much as she wanted him to kiss her again, she needed to move away and catch her breath.
"What was that for?"
"I care about you, Carolyn. You should have seen me earlier. I was a mess. I was afraid that you would never speak to me again. I need you in my life."
Carolyn didn't know what to say, all she could do was stand there and listen.
"I remembered what you said to me and I realized how you felt."
"You sound very sure of yourself."
"Come on, you know I don't mean to sound that way. It's just that...I don't know, I guess I was hoping that you felt that way about me. Looks like I'm wrong."
Carolyn went in close to him and said, "No, you're not wrong."
"So, you do like me?"
"No, I don't like you. Drew, I love you."
He looked at her and smiled. "Really?"
She shook her head, "Yes" and looked down to the floor.
He put his hand under her chin, lifted her head and kissed her again.
Drew was still in his room, pacing back and forth, wondering what Carolyn meant. No matter which angle he looked at the situation, he always came to the same conclusion.
"She likes me?", he asked out loud.
He sat down and thought about their friendship. With this new revelation, every smile, look and hug that she ever gave him seemed different. He couldn't believe that he never noticed it before. He knew that he had to talk to her, but he had no idea what he should say. He cared for her very much; they were best friends, but he never thought of her that way. He hoped he was just jumping to conclusions.
Drew left his room and walked over to Carolyn's. Even though she lived a few doors down from him, so many thoughts managed to go through his mind. What was he going to say once she opened her door? How would she react? Was she still angry with him?
Carolyn was sitting at her desk with her headphones on and just after her favorite song ended she heard a soft knock at the door. She took a bite of her Snicker's bar, walked over to the door and looked through the peephole. Drew was standing on the other side of the door and she wasn't sure that she wanted to see him, not because she was angry with him, but because she was afraid how she would act around him. He knocked on the door again and said, "Carolyn, are you there? I need to talk to you." Carolyn was tempted to open the door, but she knew that if she did, she would have to tell him the truth and she wasn't sure she was ready for that. She tiptoed back to her desk and waited until she saw his shadow under the door move away.
The next day, Drew was getting out of class and as he was walking down the hallway, he saw Carolyn walking out of a classroom. He called out her name and she turned to him, but instead of walk towards him, she walked in the other direction. He began to follow her down the hallway and around the corner, but she must have sprinted once she got around the corner because he saw no sign of her, so he decided to go back to her room and wait for her there.
Carolyn got to her residence hall and noticed Drew standing by her door. He was facing the other direction so she snuck into the common room and hoped that if she stayed there long enough, he would leave and go to his own room. About a half an hour passed and she popped her head out in the doorway to see if Drew was still standing by her door. There was no one in the hallway so she walked to her room. She noticed a note on her door in Drew's handwriting that said, "C, we need to talk, come to my room as soon as you get this." Carolyn took the note and threw it away. She felt ridiculous for trying to avoid him all day. He was her best friend, she realized that she should be able to tell him anything.
Drew was sitting at his desk fiddling through some papers wondering why Carolyn ran away from him. She had never done that before and he was afraid that she would never speak to him again. He had other friends but none of them were as special to him as she was. They had done practically everything together, and she was always there for him. He didn't know what he would do without her.
He finally got his desk cleared off when there was a knock at his door. He opened it, but there was no one there. He looked down the hall and saw two of his friends running and laughing. He closed the door and lied down on his bed. There was another knock on the door. Drew got up and said, "Very funny, guys." He walked over to the door and there was another knock.
"Oh brother", he said to himself. He opened the door. "What do you want?"
"Oh, I'm sorry. I'll come back later", Carolyn said.
"No, no, come in. I thought you were some one else."
"I got your note. You wanted to talk?"
"Yeah, I did. Is everything alright between us?"
"Sure, why wouldn't it be?" Her heart began to beat faster in her chest.
"Well I saw you earlier today and you ran away from me. I thought you were angry with me, you know, for what we talked about the other day."
"I'm not angry with you. I'm just... I don't know; it's hard to say." She had no idea what to say to him. The only thought that was running through her head was I Love You, and that was the last thing that she wanted to tell him.
"Is that all you wanted to ask me? I have a huge paper to write so-"
"Carolyn", Drew interrupted. "What did you mean when you said that I should look right in front of me?" He knew the answer, but he wanted to hear it from her. "Were you speaking figuratively or literally?"
"I don't know what you mean", she answered with her head down, staring at the floor.
"The other day you said that I needed to stop acting stupid, open my eyes and see what was right in front of me."
"I was just trying to say that you are a great guy, a really great guy, and if you would just wise up, and stop dwelling on your ex-girlfriend and what she did to you, practically every girl in this school would probably see how amazing you are and would want to be with you. But you want to go crazy and get revenge or whatever you call it and become a jerk."
"You are angry with me", he said while stepping closer to her.
"I'm not", she quickly replied, stepping backwards.
"Then why were you avoiding me today, and why are you backing away from me now?"
"I told you, I'm not angry with you. I could never be. You're my best friend, and I-"
Drew went closer to Carolyn, looked her in her eyes and kissed her. Carolyn was speechless. Somehow she found herself trapped in between the door and the love of her life. He was still gazing into her eyes, and as much as she wanted him to kiss her again, she needed to move away and catch her breath.
"What was that for?"
"I care about you, Carolyn. You should have seen me earlier. I was a mess. I was afraid that you would never speak to me again. I need you in my life."
Carolyn didn't know what to say, all she could do was stand there and listen.
"I remembered what you said to me and I realized how you felt."
"You sound very sure of yourself."
"Come on, you know I don't mean to sound that way. It's just that...I don't know, I guess I was hoping that you felt that way about me. Looks like I'm wrong."
Carolyn went in close to him and said, "No, you're not wrong."
"So, you do like me?"
"No, I don't like you. Drew, I love you."
He looked at her and smiled. "Really?"
She shook her head, "Yes" and looked down to the floor.
He put his hand under her chin, lifted her head and kissed her again.
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Avoidance
Claire and I arrived back at the house and we set everything down on the table. Claire turned to me and said,
"So let me get this straight. You saw the former love of your life after I don't know how many years and you invited him to your mother's birthday party."
"Right"
"Why?"
"I have no idea. It just came out of my mouth. I had no idea what I was saying until after I said it."
"Well you are going to have to do something about that."
"What do you mean? I can't uninvite him. I don't even have his number. I don't think he 's coming anyway. I'm sure he has other things to take care of, like his pregnant wife."
"Are you jealous?"
"Of course not. Why should I be?"
"He was the love of your life."
"Yeah, he was, meaning he no longer is. Plus, I'm engaged to Josh and we're happy together."
"I never said you weren't."
"So what are you saying?"
"I just think that you might still have feelings for him, that's all. I mean, it's ok if you do. You just have to let Josh know."
"Claire, don't be ridiculous. I don't have feelings for Brian anymore, and even if I did, I don't think I'd need to ruin things by telling Josh. I don't want to talk about this anymore, what's done is done."
"So let me get this straight. You saw the former love of your life after I don't know how many years and you invited him to your mother's birthday party."
"Right"
"Why?"
"I have no idea. It just came out of my mouth. I had no idea what I was saying until after I said it."
"Well you are going to have to do something about that."
"What do you mean? I can't uninvite him. I don't even have his number. I don't think he 's coming anyway. I'm sure he has other things to take care of, like his pregnant wife."
"Are you jealous?"
"Of course not. Why should I be?"
"He was the love of your life."
"Yeah, he was, meaning he no longer is. Plus, I'm engaged to Josh and we're happy together."
"I never said you weren't."
"So what are you saying?"
"I just think that you might still have feelings for him, that's all. I mean, it's ok if you do. You just have to let Josh know."
"Claire, don't be ridiculous. I don't have feelings for Brian anymore, and even if I did, I don't think I'd need to ruin things by telling Josh. I don't want to talk about this anymore, what's done is done."
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Encounter
We decided to have the party in the Pennsylvania house, so we drove there in the morning so that we could set up and make sure that everything was ready in time. We arrived in Easton about an hour later and it took us about another ten minutes to get to the empty house. My fiance and I just purchased it and we decided to move in after we got married. The house was in a quaint little town where every house looks the same.
Josh and I got all of the supplies out of the car and brought them inside. As I was putting some things in the fridge, Josh came up behind me and kissed me on my neck. "Can you believe it" he asked.
"Believe what?"
"This is going to be our home soon."
"I know, who would have thought-"
"And we're getting married before then. This is so exciting."
"Everything is going to be perfect."
"Yes it will", he said. Then he pulled my face towards his and kissed me. "Come on, let's keep setting up."
Josh went upstairs for a little while and I started putting up the decorations when my sister, Claire, called. She wanted me to meet her at the nearby super market to pick up some more things for the party.
When I got there, I could see Claire standing outside of the front entrance. We went inside and looked around for the party section.
"I want mom's party to be perfect. It isn't everyday that you turn 60."
"I hope she likes it, though. You know how she gets. Nag nag nag about every little detail."
"Oh come on, Annabelle. It's her birthday."
"I know that, but sometimes I wonder why I even bother with these things. She never just sits back and lets things happen. She always has to nitpick at everything, like we can never do anything right."
"Hey, I'm going to go pick up the cake, how about you stay here and look for some stuff that we might be missing."
Claire went over to the bakery section and I went to the gift card aisle considering I hadn't gotten mom a card yet. I looked through a bunch and I found a couple that I thought were nice. I couldn't decide which one I liked best, so I took both and waited for Claire to come back to get her opinion. I was about to go to the party section when I saw someone drop something. His hands were full, so I rushed over to help him. I picked up his packet of razors and put it back in his basket.
"There you go", I said as I turned back around to walk away.
"Thanks, Annabelle."
I stopped right then and turned back around.
"How did you know..." Before I could finish my question, I knew exactly how he knew my name.
There he was, standing in front of me like a king among his subjects. He looked much older than the last time I saw him, but he was just as handsome as before. Short, dark-brown hair, beautiful blue eyes and broad shoulders. The perfect description of the former love-of-my-life.
"Hi Brian", I said, staring directly into his eyes. He placed his baskets on the floor and came closer to give me a hug. His embrace brought back so many memories. A kiss, a caress, a ring, a night, our whole relationship on fast forward in my mind.
"How are you" he asked, with me still in his arms.
"I... I'm great, just great. You?" I responded trying to regain consciousness.
"Same here. Wow, it's really good seeing you. It's been so long. Tell me, what have you been doing with your life?"
He seemed sincerely interested so I tried not to leave any details out.
"Well, you know, I have that bookstore I always wanted. My fiance and I just-"
"You're engaged?"
"Yeah", showing him my left hand. "We just bought a house nearby.
"I guess we'll be seeing more of each other then. My wife and I moved here a couple of years ago after we got married. Beautiful neighborhood to raise kids in."
"You have children?"
"Not yet, but we have one on the way." Just as he said that, a woman appeared behind him and said, "Brian, do you have everything? I think we should go before the lines get too long."
Brian turned to greet his wife. She was blond, a bit shorter than I am and extremely pregnant. Her name was Kristin and she was due in a couple of weeks. Brian's attention shifted onto his wife so I thought it would be the best time for me to leave.
"I better go help my sister with the cake. It was g-"
"Cake?" Kristin interrupted.
"Yeah, it's my mom's 60th today and we're having a little get together. You're welcome to come if you'd like." I had no idea why I said that, but I couldn't take it back, so I gave them the address and went to find Claire.
Josh and I got all of the supplies out of the car and brought them inside. As I was putting some things in the fridge, Josh came up behind me and kissed me on my neck. "Can you believe it" he asked.
"Believe what?"
"This is going to be our home soon."
"I know, who would have thought-"
"And we're getting married before then. This is so exciting."
"Everything is going to be perfect."
"Yes it will", he said. Then he pulled my face towards his and kissed me. "Come on, let's keep setting up."
Josh went upstairs for a little while and I started putting up the decorations when my sister, Claire, called. She wanted me to meet her at the nearby super market to pick up some more things for the party.
When I got there, I could see Claire standing outside of the front entrance. We went inside and looked around for the party section.
"I want mom's party to be perfect. It isn't everyday that you turn 60."
"I hope she likes it, though. You know how she gets. Nag nag nag about every little detail."
"Oh come on, Annabelle. It's her birthday."
"I know that, but sometimes I wonder why I even bother with these things. She never just sits back and lets things happen. She always has to nitpick at everything, like we can never do anything right."
"Hey, I'm going to go pick up the cake, how about you stay here and look for some stuff that we might be missing."
Claire went over to the bakery section and I went to the gift card aisle considering I hadn't gotten mom a card yet. I looked through a bunch and I found a couple that I thought were nice. I couldn't decide which one I liked best, so I took both and waited for Claire to come back to get her opinion. I was about to go to the party section when I saw someone drop something. His hands were full, so I rushed over to help him. I picked up his packet of razors and put it back in his basket.
"There you go", I said as I turned back around to walk away.
"Thanks, Annabelle."
I stopped right then and turned back around.
"How did you know..." Before I could finish my question, I knew exactly how he knew my name.
There he was, standing in front of me like a king among his subjects. He looked much older than the last time I saw him, but he was just as handsome as before. Short, dark-brown hair, beautiful blue eyes and broad shoulders. The perfect description of the former love-of-my-life.
"Hi Brian", I said, staring directly into his eyes. He placed his baskets on the floor and came closer to give me a hug. His embrace brought back so many memories. A kiss, a caress, a ring, a night, our whole relationship on fast forward in my mind.
"How are you" he asked, with me still in his arms.
"I... I'm great, just great. You?" I responded trying to regain consciousness.
"Same here. Wow, it's really good seeing you. It's been so long. Tell me, what have you been doing with your life?"
He seemed sincerely interested so I tried not to leave any details out.
"Well, you know, I have that bookstore I always wanted. My fiance and I just-"
"You're engaged?"
"Yeah", showing him my left hand. "We just bought a house nearby.
"I guess we'll be seeing more of each other then. My wife and I moved here a couple of years ago after we got married. Beautiful neighborhood to raise kids in."
"You have children?"
"Not yet, but we have one on the way." Just as he said that, a woman appeared behind him and said, "Brian, do you have everything? I think we should go before the lines get too long."
Brian turned to greet his wife. She was blond, a bit shorter than I am and extremely pregnant. Her name was Kristin and she was due in a couple of weeks. Brian's attention shifted onto his wife so I thought it would be the best time for me to leave.
"I better go help my sister with the cake. It was g-"
"Cake?" Kristin interrupted.
"Yeah, it's my mom's 60th today and we're having a little get together. You're welcome to come if you'd like." I had no idea why I said that, but I couldn't take it back, so I gave them the address and went to find Claire.
Friday, December 29, 2006
Charlotte
Hello, I'm Charlotte. I'm the beautiful, British alter ego of poor pathetic Regine. I am the part of her that needs to break free. I like to speak my mind; I make sure that my feelings are known. She, on the other hand likes to suppress me and her emotions. She lets people boss her around and tear away at her dignity.I'm here to tell you that Regine has been through some emotional roller coasters and it is amazing that she isn't locked up in an asylum somewhere. Can you imagine being dismissed by your best friends or watching an old lady get run over and dragged down the street? Can you imagine being used by the love of your life or having your parents tell you point blank that you are a disappointment? I'm sure that there are a few of you who can relate, and I truly am sorry that you had to go through this sort of ordeal. Now I guess, for those of you who can relate, you all can accept this young woman into your club, the I've Been Screwed So Many Times I Can't See Straight Club. She really can't see straight and that is why I am here.
I want to help her see clearly, but all she wants to see, all she wants to live is a life of satisfying others. I need her to open her bloody eyes and wake the hell up. I try to talk to her but she says that thinking about herself would be selfish. Bloody Hell! Selfish my ass! I told her that if she wants to live a proper life, she must stand up for herself. She can't just sit around hoping that someone would respect her. No, she needs to fight for her respect. She needs to demand respect! And that is where I come in.
Lately, I haven't just been floating thoughts in her head. I have a voice now. She has begun to vocalize me. Why I have a British accent, I don't know, but I feel powerful none-the-less. I don't quite have full control over her body, but her brain and her heart are the most important. I don't really want to control her, but I just want her to live the way that she secretly wants to, the way I want her to. WE are one in the same. She is a result of her surroundings and I am what is missing. I know that she wants to be able to feel and express her emotions and I fully understand that she has never been put in the right place where that was possible. My plan is to turn every waking moment into the perfect opportunity for her/me to finally break free. If she bottles me up any longer, I am going to burst wreak havoc on the world and poor Regine will take the blame for it all. It won't be her fault, nor will it be mine. It is society's fault, the bit of society that has taught her to forget herself. The bit of society that told her that she does not matter. The men that never returned her love, the family that emotionally abandoned her, the friends that took her for all she had.
She almost killed her self, you know. She almost killed me. I, of course, could not let her do that. I had to fight the force that was engulfing her soul. I won the battle, but I did not win the war. That force is still very powerful. It is what is telling her to suppress me. It is what is telling her to accept the idea of being inferior. I will not let the force take her. I don't know what it is that I will have to do, but as God as my witness, something will be done.
Saturday, October 28, 2006
A one act play that I wrote a couple of years ago.
Act 1 Scene 1
Open- A bedroom, one person in the bed another person in the bathroom in the next toom. The husband wakes up to the sound of the water turning on.
Husband- Honey, come back to bed.
Wife- What? (unable to hear through the running water)
Husband- It is way yoo early. Come back to bed.
Wife- I have things to do.
Husband- No, you don't.
Wife- Yes, I do.
She walks out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. She sits on the edge of the bed and begins to put on her shoes.
Husband- Why are you dressed?
Wife- I have to go to work.
Husband- Work?
Wife- Yes, work! I have a job to do, bills to pay, kids to feed! You know, if you had a job, you would do the same thing.
Husband- What are you talking about; I have a job.
Wife- Yeah, sure. "Would you like fries with that?"
Husband- Hey, I'm the manager of that place. Don't even try to make me feel bad about it.
Wife- I'm just trying to say that if you tried harder-
Husband- (interrupting) Tried harder? What the hell is wrong with you? I work just as hard as you do.
Wife- Oh please!
Husband- (mockingly)"Welcome to MCI"
Wife- Fine! Fine!
Husband- (calmly)Why are we fighting about this?
Wife- I have no clue.
Husband-Honey, just come back to bed.
Wife- I can't, I have to work.
Husband- Fine, go.
She goes downstairs and is about to open the front door. A little boy comes down the stairs. He is wearing his pajamas and rubbing his eyes.
Boy- Mommy?
Wife- Honey, shouldn't you be getting ready for school?
Boy- School? Mommy, where are you going?
Wife- Honey, I'm going to work.
Boy- But Mommy, it's Saturday.
Wife- What?
Boy- It's Saturday.
The wife walks to the kitchen to look at the calendar. She sees that it actually is Saturday. She goes back to her room to find her husband sound asleep. She undresses and lies down next to him and whispers in his ear.
Wife- Honey, I want a divorce.
She sleeps.
The End!!!!!
Open- A bedroom, one person in the bed another person in the bathroom in the next toom. The husband wakes up to the sound of the water turning on.
Husband- Honey, come back to bed.
Wife- What? (unable to hear through the running water)
Husband- It is way yoo early. Come back to bed.
Wife- I have things to do.
Husband- No, you don't.
Wife- Yes, I do.
She walks out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. She sits on the edge of the bed and begins to put on her shoes.
Husband- Why are you dressed?
Wife- I have to go to work.
Husband- Work?
Wife- Yes, work! I have a job to do, bills to pay, kids to feed! You know, if you had a job, you would do the same thing.
Husband- What are you talking about; I have a job.
Wife- Yeah, sure. "Would you like fries with that?"
Husband- Hey, I'm the manager of that place. Don't even try to make me feel bad about it.
Wife- I'm just trying to say that if you tried harder-
Husband- (interrupting) Tried harder? What the hell is wrong with you? I work just as hard as you do.
Wife- Oh please!
Husband- (mockingly)"Welcome to MCI"
Wife- Fine! Fine!
Husband- (calmly)Why are we fighting about this?
Wife- I have no clue.
Husband-Honey, just come back to bed.
Wife- I can't, I have to work.
Husband- Fine, go.
She goes downstairs and is about to open the front door. A little boy comes down the stairs. He is wearing his pajamas and rubbing his eyes.
Boy- Mommy?
Wife- Honey, shouldn't you be getting ready for school?
Boy- School? Mommy, where are you going?
Wife- Honey, I'm going to work.
Boy- But Mommy, it's Saturday.
Wife- What?
Boy- It's Saturday.
The wife walks to the kitchen to look at the calendar. She sees that it actually is Saturday. She goes back to her room to find her husband sound asleep. She undresses and lies down next to him and whispers in his ear.
Wife- Honey, I want a divorce.
She sleeps.
The End!!!!!
Thursday, October 05, 2006
A Poem
To the world in which we dwell,
From the day when living man fell
To the hour when four horses prance
There is one thing that stood a chance.
No war could break it
Disease could not take it.
Men put their hearts on the line
To help it stand the tests of time.
But here I stand depraved and deprived
of the one thing that keeps us alive.
A child frolics in front of me
Onlooking parents stand guilt free.
So I must ask, Is it not my turn?
My flame is out as other's burn.
I've had a chance to feel such bliss
I've felt his touch and his kiss.
Now,He, in London. I, in France.
Will there be another chance?
If it is no, I shall surely die.
All for Naught? O woe O Fie!
Curse you time and curse you space.
Curse you distance and curse this place.
Curse the moon and the stars above
For denying me a thing called love.
From the day when living man fell
To the hour when four horses prance
There is one thing that stood a chance.
No war could break it
Disease could not take it.
Men put their hearts on the line
To help it stand the tests of time.
But here I stand depraved and deprived
of the one thing that keeps us alive.
A child frolics in front of me
Onlooking parents stand guilt free.
So I must ask, Is it not my turn?
My flame is out as other's burn.
I've had a chance to feel such bliss
I've felt his touch and his kiss.
Now,He, in London. I, in France.
Will there be another chance?
If it is no, I shall surely die.
All for Naught? O woe O Fie!
Curse you time and curse you space.
Curse you distance and curse this place.
Curse the moon and the stars above
For denying me a thing called love.
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Philosophy of Love Chapter1 pt2
Shelby decided to stay away from the house for a little while so she walked to the park that was by the elementary school she attended as a child. She sat on a swing for almost an hour thinking about all of the things that she had and hadn't done in her life and how unsatisfied she was with all of it. She thought of all of the things that she should have done in high school and in college and it made her feel like she was a failure. She had always wanted to be active in school, there was something that always held her back. She had no idea what it was but it always succeeded in keeping her away from the activities that she liked.
Out of all of the things that Shelby never did, her mother always wondered why she never dated anyone. Shelby always pondered that as well. She had always wanted to find love; she felt that finding love was one of her goals, if not the main goal. She never actually went out to find someone to be with. Most of the guys that she encountered never fit the bill. She had convinced herself that she had standards and had the perfect person in mind, but as she sat on the swing in the park, she realized that sure, she had standards, but she was also too afraid to put herself out there. She wasn't a risk taker and the biggest risk she felt that anyone could take would be to admit true feelings about that person. She never wanted to feel that vulnerable. She had been in that position a couple of times before and she knew that she never wanted to experience that again.
It was getting dark out so she decided to walk back home. When she got back home, her mother wasn't there so she went to the kitchen to get a glass of water and went straight to her room.
Out of all of the things that Shelby never did, her mother always wondered why she never dated anyone. Shelby always pondered that as well. She had always wanted to find love; she felt that finding love was one of her goals, if not the main goal. She never actually went out to find someone to be with. Most of the guys that she encountered never fit the bill. She had convinced herself that she had standards and had the perfect person in mind, but as she sat on the swing in the park, she realized that sure, she had standards, but she was also too afraid to put herself out there. She wasn't a risk taker and the biggest risk she felt that anyone could take would be to admit true feelings about that person. She never wanted to feel that vulnerable. She had been in that position a couple of times before and she knew that she never wanted to experience that again.
It was getting dark out so she decided to walk back home. When she got back home, her mother wasn't there so she went to the kitchen to get a glass of water and went straight to her room.
Monday, October 02, 2006
Some more pictures that I Edited
This is the most stalkerish thing that I could ever do but it was fun doing it. I got his face from one picture and my face from another one. Then, since the images were different in sixe, I had to hide that fact and the only way that I coule do that was to make it look like it was a watercolor painting. His head still looks a bit bigger, but I like it the way it is.
Crest white strips much?!? Yay for digital editing.
Version 1 of trying to make myself look like a cat.
Version 2 of trying to make myself look like a cat
Saturday, September 30, 2006
My Collages
This is the very first one that I made when I was a sophomore in college. I'm supposed to be the main figure in it and everything else in there represents things in my life. music, femininity, love, etc.
I wanted to stay with the purple theme seeing as how that is my favorite colour. This time representing what I want in my life. A boyfriend, a car, tropical goodness, etc.
In this one I wanted to show ultimate femininity with an edge, hence the suit on the left.
Thursday, September 07, 2006
The Philosophy of Love... Chapter1 pt.1
Shelby Pierce was sitting at her computer, locked in her room, trying to drown out her mother's voice. She was trying to clear her mind of the last ridiculous comment her mother made about her life choices.
"Why are you always in your room all day watching tv or on that stupid computer? Don't you have something better to do?" No matter how many times she asked this, Shelby always replied, "Mom, what are you talking about? You're not here most of the day so you have no idea what you're saying." Although this daily repertoire always stole ten minutes out of their lives, they always reached the same conclusion; Shelby was a lazy ingrate and her mother was a hard working angel.
Shelby knew that she was never able to have a real heart felt, let's-settle-our-differences, type of conversation with her mother, but there were times that she really needed to talk to someone and her mother was all she had. Sure, Shelby had friends, but she hardly spoke to them because of the long distance. Most of the friends she made were at boarding school in another state or at college a few towns over. She had been living on a campus since she was 14 and never found a reason to get her license until recently. She finally realized that she was 22 years old and the only way that she could get away from the angelic Mrs. Veronica Pierce would be to drive away.
Shelby had lost another game of FreeCell when she got a call from her friend Alissa.
"How's the job hunt going?"
"Not so great, I can't find what I'm looking for and it's driving me crazy."
"Shel, don't sweat it. You'll find something, I just know it."
"I know, but right now I just feel so discouraged and my mother isn't helping at all. She puts so much pressure on me and she makes me feel even worse. She doesn't think that writing is a very good thing for me."
"Well she want's what's best for you, she just doesn't know what it is."
"Exactly! All she thinks about is dollar signs and benefits. It's all well and good but I want to do something that I knowI love. I don't really care about money. I know I need it, but does it really have to be the number one criteria?"
"Of course it doesn't, but you won't have anything worth anything unless you have money."
Shelby knew that Alissa was right, but what else could she do that she wasn't already doing? She started to pace around her room, letting her mind roam. She stopped in front of a mirror and stared at herself. She had once heard that one could find the answer within oneself and that is what she thought she could do. Her eyes began to take in the entire image staring back at her, from the full lips to the rather troll-like button nose to the almost asian-inspired dark brown eyes to the short curly jet-black hair which made her wonder why she cut it so short in the first place. Then she remembered Josh. The man who broke her heart a couple of years ago and managed to smuggle his way back into her life as a good friend. She was so depressed and had decided that instead of killing herself, she would chop off all of her chemically treated, straightened hair(the thing he like most about her) and start all over. Now it was growing back and she decided that she loves it the way it is.
Shelby managed to come up with nothing. Some ideas came to her but her gut told her that they were the wrong way to go. She left her room and headed downstairs. She began to walk slowly through the house when she heard footsteps behind her. She turned around and saw her mother looking at her strangely. "What are you doing, Shelby?"
"Nothing, mom, just thinking. I think I'm gonna go for a walk."
She grabbed her jacket and keys and walked out of the door. She had no ides where she was going but she knew that anywhere was better than home at the moment.
"Why are you always in your room all day watching tv or on that stupid computer? Don't you have something better to do?" No matter how many times she asked this, Shelby always replied, "Mom, what are you talking about? You're not here most of the day so you have no idea what you're saying." Although this daily repertoire always stole ten minutes out of their lives, they always reached the same conclusion; Shelby was a lazy ingrate and her mother was a hard working angel.
Shelby knew that she was never able to have a real heart felt, let's-settle-our-differences, type of conversation with her mother, but there were times that she really needed to talk to someone and her mother was all she had. Sure, Shelby had friends, but she hardly spoke to them because of the long distance. Most of the friends she made were at boarding school in another state or at college a few towns over. She had been living on a campus since she was 14 and never found a reason to get her license until recently. She finally realized that she was 22 years old and the only way that she could get away from the angelic Mrs. Veronica Pierce would be to drive away.
Shelby had lost another game of FreeCell when she got a call from her friend Alissa.
"How's the job hunt going?"
"Not so great, I can't find what I'm looking for and it's driving me crazy."
"Shel, don't sweat it. You'll find something, I just know it."
"I know, but right now I just feel so discouraged and my mother isn't helping at all. She puts so much pressure on me and she makes me feel even worse. She doesn't think that writing is a very good thing for me."
"Well she want's what's best for you, she just doesn't know what it is."
"Exactly! All she thinks about is dollar signs and benefits. It's all well and good but I want to do something that I knowI love. I don't really care about money. I know I need it, but does it really have to be the number one criteria?"
"Of course it doesn't, but you won't have anything worth anything unless you have money."
Shelby knew that Alissa was right, but what else could she do that she wasn't already doing? She started to pace around her room, letting her mind roam. She stopped in front of a mirror and stared at herself. She had once heard that one could find the answer within oneself and that is what she thought she could do. Her eyes began to take in the entire image staring back at her, from the full lips to the rather troll-like button nose to the almost asian-inspired dark brown eyes to the short curly jet-black hair which made her wonder why she cut it so short in the first place. Then she remembered Josh. The man who broke her heart a couple of years ago and managed to smuggle his way back into her life as a good friend. She was so depressed and had decided that instead of killing herself, she would chop off all of her chemically treated, straightened hair(the thing he like most about her) and start all over. Now it was growing back and she decided that she loves it the way it is.
Shelby managed to come up with nothing. Some ideas came to her but her gut told her that they were the wrong way to go. She left her room and headed downstairs. She began to walk slowly through the house when she heard footsteps behind her. She turned around and saw her mother looking at her strangely. "What are you doing, Shelby?"
"Nothing, mom, just thinking. I think I'm gonna go for a walk."
She grabbed her jacket and keys and walked out of the door. She had no ides where she was going but she knew that anywhere was better than home at the moment.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
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