Friday, May 18, 2007

Confession

Carolyn was sitting in her room halfway to tears. A part of her wished she never blew up at Drew and another part of her wished he would come into her room and make her dream come true. From the moment they met, she knew that she wanted to be with him, but she never had the courage to tell him. Their friendship was very important to her and she feared that she may have ruined it. Instead of dwelling on the conversation she just had, she decided to occupy her time with loud music and homework. She may have lived just down the hall from Drew but music brought her to another world, and right now, that is where she wanted to be.

Drew was still in his room, pacing back and forth, wondering what Carolyn meant. No matter which angle he looked at the situation, he always came to the same conclusion.

"She likes me?", he asked out loud.

He sat down and thought about their friendship. With this new revelation, every smile, look and hug that she ever gave him seemed different. He couldn't believe that he never noticed it before. He knew that he had to talk to her, but he had no idea what he should say. He cared for her very much; they were best friends, but he never thought of her that way. He hoped he was just jumping to conclusions.

Drew left his room and walked over to Carolyn's. Even though she lived a few doors down from him, so many thoughts managed to go through his mind. What was he going to say once she opened her door? How would she react? Was she still angry with him?

Carolyn was sitting at her desk with her headphones on and just after her favorite song ended she heard a soft knock at the door. She took a bite of her Snicker's bar, walked over to the door and looked through the peephole. Drew was standing on the other side of the door and she wasn't sure that she wanted to see him, not because she was angry with him, but because she was afraid how she would act around him. He knocked on the door again and said, "Carolyn, are you there? I need to talk to you." Carolyn was tempted to open the door, but she knew that if she did, she would have to tell him the truth and she wasn't sure she was ready for that. She tiptoed back to her desk and waited until she saw his shadow under the door move away.

The next day, Drew was getting out of class and as he was walking down the hallway, he saw Carolyn walking out of a classroom. He called out her name and she turned to him, but instead of walk towards him, she walked in the other direction. He began to follow her down the hallway and around the corner, but she must have sprinted once she got around the corner because he saw no sign of her, so he decided to go back to her room and wait for her there.

Carolyn got to her residence hall and noticed Drew standing by her door. He was facing the other direction so she snuck into the common room and hoped that if she stayed there long enough, he would leave and go to his own room. About a half an hour passed and she popped her head out in the doorway to see if Drew was still standing by her door. There was no one in the hallway so she walked to her room. She noticed a note on her door in Drew's handwriting that said, "C, we need to talk, come to my room as soon as you get this." Carolyn took the note and threw it away. She felt ridiculous for trying to avoid him all day. He was her best friend, she realized that she should be able to tell him anything.

Drew was sitting at his desk fiddling through some papers wondering why Carolyn ran away from him. She had never done that before and he was afraid that she would never speak to him again. He had other friends but none of them were as special to him as she was. They had done practically everything together, and she was always there for him. He didn't know what he would do without her.

He finally got his desk cleared off when there was a knock at his door. He opened it, but there was no one there. He looked down the hall and saw two of his friends running and laughing. He closed the door and lied down on his bed. There was another knock on the door. Drew got up and said, "Very funny, guys." He walked over to the door and there was another knock.

"Oh brother", he said to himself. He opened the door. "What do you want?"
"Oh, I'm sorry. I'll come back later", Carolyn said.
"No, no, come in. I thought you were some one else."
"I got your note. You wanted to talk?"
"Yeah, I did. Is everything alright between us?"
"Sure, why wouldn't it be?" Her heart began to beat faster in her chest.
"Well I saw you earlier today and you ran away from me. I thought you were angry with me, you know, for what we talked about the other day."
"I'm not angry with you. I'm just... I don't know; it's hard to say." She had no idea what to say to him. The only thought that was running through her head was I Love You, and that was the last thing that she wanted to tell him.
"Is that all you wanted to ask me? I have a huge paper to write so-"
"Carolyn", Drew interrupted. "What did you mean when you said that I should look right in front of me?" He knew the answer, but he wanted to hear it from her. "Were you speaking figuratively or literally?"
"I don't know what you mean", she answered with her head down, staring at the floor.
"The other day you said that I needed to stop acting stupid, open my eyes and see what was right in front of me."
"I was just trying to say that you are a great guy, a really great guy, and if you would just wise up, and stop dwelling on your ex-girlfriend and what she did to you, practically every girl in this school would probably see how amazing you are and would want to be with you. But you want to go crazy and get revenge or whatever you call it and become a jerk."
"You are angry with me", he said while stepping closer to her.
"I'm not", she quickly replied, stepping backwards.
"Then why were you avoiding me today, and why are you backing away from me now?"
"I told you, I'm not angry with you. I could never be. You're my best friend, and I-"
Drew went closer to Carolyn, looked her in her eyes and kissed her. Carolyn was speechless. Somehow she found herself trapped in between the door and the love of her life. He was still gazing into her eyes, and as much as she wanted him to kiss her again, she needed to move away and catch her breath.
"What was that for?"
"I care about you, Carolyn. You should have seen me earlier. I was a mess. I was afraid that you would never speak to me again. I need you in my life."
Carolyn didn't know what to say, all she could do was stand there and listen.
"I remembered what you said to me and I realized how you felt."
"You sound very sure of yourself."
"Come on, you know I don't mean to sound that way. It's just that...I don't know, I guess I was hoping that you felt that way about me. Looks like I'm wrong."
Carolyn went in close to him and said, "No, you're not wrong."
"So, you do like me?"
"No, I don't like you. Drew, I love you."
He looked at her and smiled. "Really?"
She shook her head, "Yes" and looked down to the floor.
He put his hand under her chin, lifted her head and kissed her again.